Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Hair and Weddings

Can words express how much I love Ryan Doepke? No, they cannot.

But he hates my music.

I cut my hair. By myself. Bad idea. For the first hour, it looked extremely horrendous. Within the next 45 minutes, it started looking relatively decent. It is now acceptable to go outside the house. I'm too stubborn to go to the hairdresser. I'm sure they would be horrified if they watched a film of me in the act.

Anyways, I just want to note how lovely Angus and Julia Stone are. Amazing. Period. Me and Greg should create music like them. We'd be a good team.

I made Ryan listen to our whole Wedding Day Playlist I have made thus far...success. He enjoyed the fact that I made him watch me dance poorly to every one of the songs. He loved every minute of it. Ask him. I sang an Adele song to my Macy, my dog. Check the song out - "One and Only." Nice and bluesy.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Less than extraordinary days seem to happen to me quite often.

-I frolicked and danced while no customers were in the bank to cheer up Sara. It kinda? worked.

-When the left-turn green arrow appeared, the man in the lane next to me went straight through a red light that we'd been stopped at for a minute. I laughed hard by myself in my car, and thought things such as "What a moron!"

-Ryan brought me China King take out! Then my lenses came in a day early from UPS, and I ignored Ryan the rest of the night!!! I ordered the beauties yesterday morn! Hooray for early Christmas! I can't wait to go experiment outside my house with them when I wake tomorrow. It shall be a good day.

My fool of a dog Macy, looking all sad and cute like usual.


Prince Edmund James- the king of his castle. My, oh, my, what long legs you have!




On a less superficial level, I've been thinking about my Mexican loves and how dearly I miss them. Six months was too much; six months was not enough. Today was Jose Carlos' birthday. Wish I could celebrate con mi amigo!




Aw, te extraño, mi amor. Quiero verte pronto. Te quiero muchisimo. Sometimes, you just gotta let the tears flow.



I can't begin to explain how much I love them and how much I wish distance didn't exist. 'When I think of distance, I think of the knife.'


peace, love, and shalom.

-Carli

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Stakes are High and the Time is Now -Just Color Me Green

Well, friends, the stakes are high and the time is now!

Writing should reach into our inner depths and allow us to discover those things we are afraid to speak. If it is not doing that, we've entirely lost sight of things.

I must write everyday. Observe the world; observe my heart; write.



There once lived a good man named W.H. Auden. (Don't ask me how I just now discovered him.) His writings are timeless and I aspire to be like him.

“How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.”

His words are brilliant. He inspires me to become a better person.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've seen many a sloppy, boring writer, and today, I am hoping I'm not one.

I cannot measure myself against my neighbor; I must measure myself against myself. The battle will be a long and tragic road, for the match can never be won. A man can never prevail in a fight against himself, lest he become someone else.





Well, I'm not becoming someone else. People in critique classes want you to become someone else. Sometimes, but rarely, they are helpful. They hope for you to cram into their own tiny, idealistic box. Well, I find it to be much too cramped in there; it's a little stuffy for my liking. And where there is a box they're trying to shove you in, there is most always creativity being stifled.

When it comes to the arts (and one is halfway decent at one), it comes down to mere preference. You don't like my work, suck it! You may not like the color green, still green is a perfectly fine hue without your stamp of approval.

I am green! If you hate green, move on! We were not meant for each other!





peace, love, and shalom.

-Carli

Friday, September 30, 2011

Sad

My heart is sad for a profound reason. I was playing one of my favorite worship songs...just in my bedroom, just me and God and my guitar...playing I Will Not Forget You..



Many men will drink the rain
and turn to thank the clouds
Many men will hear you speak
they will never turn around

But I will not forget you
you are my God and King
with a thankful heart
I bring my offering
And my sacrifice is
not what you can give
but what I alone can
give to you

A grateful heart I give
a thankful prayer I pray
a wild dance I dance before you
a loud song I sing
a huge bell I ring
a life of praise I live before you

Many men will pour their gold
and serve a thing that shines
many men will read your words
they will never change their minds


When I sing the verses, I become more than distraught.

"Many men will drink the rain
and turn to thank the clouds
Many men will hear you speak
they will never turn around
Many men will pour their gold
and serve a thing that shines
many men will read your words
they will never change their minds"

God doesn't get the glory he deserves. Not that he needs our glory necessarily...but he is worthy of every bit of it. So many people will hear God speak or a pull on their hearts. ...or read his word and even agree with it, then turn around and say, "Forget you! " "I'm going my own way." or, "There's not really a God..or if there is, there's too many options...I can't just choose one."

I want people to see how good God is. I want them to accept how he loves us. I want them to acknowledge God's beauty. I want them to have the best life possible. But they turn around, and close their ears, being too stubborn to even give the thought of God the time of day. I just want more people to join in this love with me. To understand how wonderful it is to be connected with the one who made the stars. To see how freeing and uplifting it is to finally acknowledge his presence. I want the best for you. I don't want to control your life. God definitely doesn't want to control your life. He wants you to have the most excellent, burdensome-free life possible. I wish you'd just try it... I want that for you. I hope you would want that for yourself.
found this old excerpt i wrote and found it funny.


https://www.getsnuggie.com/flare/next

This is a terrible advertisement for an interesting product. "The Snuggie" is a blanket that you wear. The first time I saw this product advertised on a commercial, I thought it was a joke, as in, something you may see on Conan O'Brien or The Late Show. First of all, the commercial is extremely cheesy. It has people dancing around in the Snuggie (this was the commercial I saw for the Snuggie on TV). I guess this is to show how much fun the Snuggie can be. I found it extremely ineffective.

This advertisement does not make me want to purchase the Snuggie. It actually does a better job at making me want to make fun of the Snuggie even more than I would have in the first place. The acting is extremely corny. The reasoning to buy the product is illogical. People could easily put on a hoodie, get the same effect, and not look ridiculous. The commercial looks like it was created the early 90's. It is not creative or appealing in the slightest.

Interestingly enough, one of my cousins, who is really into fashion, wants one for Christmas. I can't fathom what she is thinking. All in all, possibly, but not likely, if the Snuggie had a better advertisement, it could make me consider purchasing one. Because it as though the commercial is a joke making fun of the Snuggie, it makes the product come off as a joke as well.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

(((If you haven't read my other, prior blog posts, you should. Just so you know me better. :)

This is not my typical blogging. When MySpace was my best friend, I blogged these lyrical little prose that confused everyone. Those are the best kind. This blog just keeps track of what the heck I'm doing on a broader, shallower level. And I don't really care if anyone reads this except for me. ...I'm just throwing another option out there for you. I love life. And I like going back and looking at what I’ve done in life...good, bad, and beautiful. )))

Do you want to be my friend?? You can be.

Great. So, again, I’ve no idea what I’m doing with my life. I have a plan. I need a sound plan.

I want to:
write creatively
take photos creatively
make and play music creatively
design and make clothes creatively
get paid somehow for doing those things.

I’m going to do it.

As for life right now, this past Sunday, Ryan and I took some engagement photos ourselves. It was interesting, to say the least, and a ton o’ friggin’ fun. At one point, we were in the boat (this is a terrible idea, by the way) and my camera almost tipped over into the lake...I lunged to save it. Success! Things didn’t all work out as anticipated, but all in all I am mostly satisfied.



I however am not satisfied with school. I may be fickle. You can count on that. But I still know what I value most in life and what I want I really want to do...and that has never changed. The only thing that changes is my “fall back plan,” which is the reason for going to school. And indecisiveness is most expensive and a waste of time when it comes to this. If I am unsuccessful in my many creative endeavors, I will fall back on my Bachelor’s degree...I just don’t know what I want to make that...and I’m in my fourth year of college. You can send me words of praise for that one later. It is possible I may be changing majors and even universities in the near future. We will just have to see.

On another note, I am writing a detailed story, but it has yet to come together as an adhesive whole. So far I only have several anecdotes, but the actual story line is in my head. I got to get on top of things in order to woo my creative writing professor and get my book published!!! ha. No one reads books anymore anyways, so it’s probably a waste of time. ha.

Talking about creativity...I have recently written a nuevo cancion. and it’s not bad, I guess. I need more time for music.

I wish I could independently freelance everything. I need you guys to be not only my friends, but also my customers, making you customerly friends.

I’m going to run 7 miles tonight or tomorrow. Hold me to it, my brothers.

Alrighty then! Off to writing my story.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Ramblings on Creativity.

It's fall, and that pretty much means I'm happily discontent with my life. Happy because that's what autumn air brings. Discontent because that's what academics bring.

If you know me, the one thing you should know about me (after the fact that I am lover of God) is that I want to create things. Good things. And that is the primary concern of my life. God created us, and he made us creative beings, so I think he's definitely a big advocate for creating.


Why can't we output more than we input? Why can't we upload more than we download? Why can't we write more than we read? (I guess there has to be a counter-role to every role. I just know mine is the one who makes stuff. So let me make stuff, Society.)

How do I personally foster creating?

Well, to begin with, the first thing I created was some baby song I made up on the piano...I was seven. It was as great as you would expect a song from a seven-year-old to be - not that great. But it spurred from inside of me and that's what made it beautiful.

I try to make photos and I try to write. I am just so tired of all the critiquing. My biggest complaint. I like to do this freely, and for myself. In a way, it's an act of worship (since creating is something God likes to see us do and I believe many of us are at our best while creating). I love writing really bad songs, really bad prose, and drawing really bad pictures. (The drawings really are REALLY bad.)

Anyways, I'm more than ready to move on and forward in my life as a professional creator of things, but am not quite sure how to go about this. I can design clothes. Awesome clothes. (I just can't really sew them.) I can make pictures. Good pictures. I can make music. Decent music. I can write things. Intriguing things. (At least to me.) But have the artisans really ever gotten paid? The mainstream ones, maybe, but ones that fall into the same category as me, no. "Well you can just do all those other 'hobbies' on the side, in your spare time." No, no thanks, I want to devote all my time to it. I want to make the world a more beautiful place than the one we live in right now. And I want to not be punished for doing so... So...Please pay me, everyone reading this, so I can still eat and live and be an artist.

(Tangent: If something becomes too mainstream, does that make it any less great? While I feel things may lose a bit of their once-felt artsy edge, they are still objectively great, are they not? When Bright Eyes songs started getting sung by everyone, did they lose their ridiculously awesome value? No, just more people shared in the admiration, (which made it a little less fun for those who like to hold "their territory").)

I aspire to take really good pictures; the ones that capture love in them, or wonder, or intrigue, or hope, or hopelessness. Ones that can equal emotion in the right way. I aspire to write ridiculously wonderful songs, not by the world's standards, but by mine; the ones that capture my thoughts, ideas, and emotions better than simple verse alone. I aspire to make the most quality of clothes; the ones that make me feel like life is much simpler than it is. I aspire to throw down some great verse; the kind that could one day change my mind, or even someone else's.

And who says what I write, sing, paint, sculpt, capture has to go with all the standard lines? Isn't the point of being creative, being creative? So why must there be a box?

Note that creativity isn't about getting people's attention and being in the lime-light (think Lady Gaga). Creativity is about trying to express something in a fresh way, maybe even an old way. It's about stating the emotion without actually stating the emotion. It can find people in their darkest of states. It can find people in their most confused states. It can find people in the state they are in right now. And it can take people back to a state they haven't felt in a very long time.

We must not be scared to create. Especially not scared to create creative things. If we were all cowards there would be no progress. And I'm all about progress...



Well, I didn't see that one coming at all...Anyways, I guess I'm just gunna post this without editing it. I know it's all jumbled and just a bunch of rambling. Hopefully I can edit it sometime soon to make it more coherent and flow better.

Cheers!

-C

this is a book. a sad, boring book.

Let me tell you the extent of my life. It doesn't feel real...while I'm living it. And then, when I sit back and try to breathe, it's hard to believe I'm at the point I am in my life. I don't feel like I'm living..and it's because I'm too gosh dang busy and doing nothing I actually want to do.

This is me laughing. It doesn't happen very often while during the school year....

...Because school makes me unhappy...unless Mr. Gluba is there.

I'm practically 22 and I've done nothing creatively productive. And for the practical side of things, I've also done nothing productive that will actually get me anywhere I want to go. So, so far, we have a failure. ha.

What I'm not doing right now that I "should" be: Reading "The Merchant of Venice," taking a quiz over it, doing Managerial Accounting, writing a story, reading another story, the list could go on.

So, I'm going to get married...yeah, that happened in the past 10 months I haven't blogged. Ryan was the one who asked me, in case you were wondering. And I'm sad because planning is going extremely wrong since I don't just have a huge open field with electricity. My plans...I have too many of them..and I'm not going to begin to share any on this publicly viewable blog.

Right now, I'm like a running machine...Cranking out the miles effortlessly. Okay, not effortlessly..most nights I feel like I will die, but 'tis great nonetheless. Tomorrow night 6 miles. (and you pronounce that "seis me-lays.")

It's almost time for Ryan's Birthday again. Can you believe it? I cannot. Which sucks because I'm poor...but I'm actually not poor because I'm just saving money and not spending it..but that makes me feel poor. Which is A-OK with me!

At this very moment, I feel like running around in my yard with Macy. She's a cool dog that misses my daily presence. hmm...today I saw a girl that looked like Pocahontas. I kid you not...the whole get-up and she had brown skin. It was silly.

So concluding this solitary blog post, I realize I just wasted about 45 minutes of my own time and 5 minutes of yours! I guess we're even.